Love
The Notebook
Have you ever seen the movie Notebook? I saw this movie recently and was taken aback by the exaltation of love to god-like status.
The following lines are from the final scene of the movie. It captures exactly what I am talking about. Allie and Noah we husband and wife who were high school sweethearts. At the time the scene takes place they were both in a nursing home.
Allie: Do you think our love can create miracles?
Noah: I do.
Allie: Do you think our love can take us away together?
Noah: I think our love can do anything we want it to do.
Then he lays down next to her to go to sleep, and they die together.
At face value this is an entertaining movie. I watched the movie because a friend recommended it saying that it portrays a concept that I like to call Theoromanticism. Theoromanticism is the idea that romance becomes God. In our culture, we are obsessed with being loved. The idea that we are to find the love of our life and make that our life’s passion until we do is not farfetched. It’s true. Just think about the number of romance-related movies that are released each year. Or consider the number of people who are single and are often asked if they have “found that special someone.”
I’ll be honest, the closing lines of this movie creeped me out a little. Before you go biting my head off hear me out. As a Christian I understand that there is nothing wrong with consuming entertainment. But at the same time I also understand that it is important for us to consume critically. I’m not advocating that we have to interpret everything to the point that we cannot enjoy it by letting our guards down. Although I think that we should never let our guards down in any situation (1 Thessalonians 5:6). My point is that, especially when it comes to movies, we need to give some consideration to the message Hollywood is trying to send.
Everyone has a gospel. Everyone has a theology. Hollywood is no different. As Christians we need to interpret this message against what God says. This is important because many get their way of doing life (theology) from media and entertainment. And this is precisely what spooks me about this movie. My concern is not whether or not it is a good movie. In my opinion it is one of the best romance movies I have seen in a while. But when I consider the messages this movie is sending, I have concerns.
So what spooked me? The deification of love. In other words, in this movie God was replaced with love. The movie dialogue above comes at the end of the movie. Allie asks Noah if the love they have for one another can create miracles. Love does not create miracles, God does. Someone may think that is being picky. But when you consider that many people learn their theology from movies like this, you can see how it is possible for someone to easily believe that as long as they have love in their life, they have all they need because the commitment of a loved one is enough to help them overcome any and everything life throws at them. They don’t need God. They don’t need the community of the church. They just need loving affection of someone who is committed to them.
This is theoromanticism and there are many examples of it in the movie. For instance, Allie was willing throw away her entire future for a guy. In another instance, the narrator mentions that in the early stages of their relationship Allie and Noah spent every waking moment together. As a Christian hearing this, I can’t help but think that this is not a good thing considering the importance of the Great Commission. There is nothing wrong with spending time with someone you are romantically involved with, but spending “every waking moment” with them while ignoring the Great Commission seems like idolatry to me.
Finally Allie asks, “Do you think our love can take us away together?” I remember hearing this line and feeling all bubbly inside. I know, I’m weird. But after thinking this through from a theological perspective, there seem to be some inherent assumptions behind this statement. First, it appears Allie and Noah believe they will be together in the afterlife. I understand this is a popular belief among some other religions. I am not sure if they believed they would still be married or not in the afterlife, but I get the impression that this was their belief. The truth is that although we will know one another in heaven, there will be no marriage. So the idea that one needs to find the love of their life and be with them forever (including heaven) is not true. Second, there seems to be a desire for some sort of salvation from their troubles, particularly their pain. Have you known people who move from relationship to relationship looking for someone to love them to deaden the pain of loneliness? I have. It’s called emotional dependency. It is only God who saves from our troubles (Psalm 22:11; 46:1).
The religious themes in the last scene of this movie are very strong. Noah expresses the sovereignty of love when he says, “our love can do anything we want it to do.” Sovereignty as Noah describes it is an attribute that exists with God. No “thing” has total sovereignty. But God does, and he alone can do whatever he wants. And he alone can create miracle. And he alone can save creation from trouble.
Theoromanticism does for its disciples what any other religion does for its devotees. It provides a person with significance, identity and a sense of mission in life. It’s so attractive it’s no wonder people look at films like The Notebook and say, “I wish I had that.” Noah had finally accomplished his life’s dream, marrying Allie. Noah lived like a man who was clearly focused on one mission and one mission alone. He even built an entire house by himself just for her. The determination to get the project done was unthinkable. He devoted years of his life to this mission alienating himself from everyone. He risked everything he had to build this house for her, because he loved her. I wonder what the world would be like today if every Christian loved God enough to devote their entire lives, risking everything, for The Great Commission.
There are many other themes in this movie that I do not have time to explore now. We are a culture obsessed with romance. Theoromanticism has dethroned The Great Commission as the most important thing you or I will ever do in our lives. We long for the tender touch of love; to be held knowing that we have someone who is committed to us until “death do we part.” But doesn’t that sound selfish? Is that what Scripture describes as love? Is our highest calling in life to be married and bear children? In my opinion, I don’t think it is.
Side Note: I have an entire chapter devoted to theoromanticism in my eBook called 53X. The concept is explained in more detail. Check it out.