Between Commercials Tell Them About Jesus
This video is one of the main reasons (and there are a few others) I do not like "drive-by" approaches to evangelism. And a lot of my non-Christian friends don’t like it either (which is another reason).
Are you a coward?
The new Attorney General Eric Holder (an African American) of the United States recently said the following:
Those Who Annoy You
I (Robert) recently wrote an article about why it is so important that we understand the concept of humanity. I suggest you read it because it talks about how an 18 year old girl was at the clinic to get an abortion, went in to labor, delivered the baby but once she saw the child and realized that the baby was a live human being, she changed her mind. What happened next has shocked people on both sides of the abortion debate.
I saw this video in church and I thought it conveyed the importance of humanity. Like the story of the 18 year old girl, this video illustrates how things tend to change when you see people for who they really are. You never know what’s going on in the life of the person who just cut you off in traffic, that annoying co-worker, or that 18 year old girl.
You Don’t Have To Be Pro-Choice To Kill A Human Being
Things tend to change when you see the humanity in another person. This is particularly true when you have to deal with someone you don’t care for that much.
I had a boss that I had a hard time getting along with. I’ll admit it was difficult to like him. We never argued or fought or anything. He had one of those difficult personalities that was hard for me to interact with. Whenever he did something that upset me I had to restrain from showing my anger. It was also hard to be cordial with him in conversation sometimes.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because even though there were times when I found it difficult to interact with him there were other times where it was pretty easy. So what changed? I decided to look past his problems to the essence of who God created him to be: a human being. Things tend to change when you see the humanity in another person.
When God created us, he created us with intrinsic value. Intrinsic value is the value that you have that is innate to who you are. No one can or never will give you intrinsic value. The only reason you have intrinsic value is because God created you. Because the most Supreme Being in the universe created you, you have a value that is far greater than anything else in God’s created order.
Perhaps an example will help you to better understand what I am talking about. A lot of people are crazy about Apple, the company that makes really cool computers and other electronic products. Rightfully so in some instances. Regardless of whether or not you are a Mac or a PC you have to admit they have some cool looking devices. So it’s no wonder so many people are fans of their products. But there is a problem. As nice as those products are, they come at a high price. Why? Because of the name that is placed on them. You can find other products that are just as equal in quality but are significantly cheaper because they do not have the Apple logo on them. The iPod has high value simply because it has the Apple logo on it. No one else can give the iPod its value but its creator, Apple.
What’s true for the iPod is true for us as well. Because God created you, you automatically have high value that no one else can give you. Not only can they not give it to you, they also cannot take it away from you. This theological concept is critical for us. So many of us go into relationships seeking other people to give us the value God has already given us. For some reason we think that our value is determined by the people in our lives and the stuff we accumulate. So faulty thinking in this area causes our relationships to significantly flawed.
But there is another area of deep concern that this theological idea that our value is given to us by God is often forgotten, with devastating effects on our society. Abortion. A story ran in the associated press last week about n 18-year old girl in Florida who went to a clinic to abort her 23-week old baby.
The doctor was not in the office yet but they went ahead and started the procedure by medicating her and dilating her cervix. But the doctor didn’t arrive in time. She went into labor and delivered a live baby girl. According to the AP:
What Williams and the Health Department say happened next has shocked people on both sides of the abortion debate: One of the clinic’s owners, who has no medical license, cut the infant’s umbilical cord. Williams says the woman placed the baby in a plastic biohazard bag and threw it out. Police recovered the decomposing remains in a cardboard box a week later after getting anonymous tips.
Yes. You read the correctly. She put a live baby in a bag and threw her in the trash. It gets worse:
The complaint says one of the clinic owners, Belkis Gonzalez came in and cut the umbilical cord with scissors, then placed the baby in a plastic bag, and the bag in a trash can.
Williams’ lawsuit offers a cruder account: She says Gonzalez knocked the baby off the recliner chair where she had given birth, onto the floor. The baby’s umbilical cord was not clamped, allowing her to bleed out. Gonzalez scooped the baby, placenta and afterbirth into a red plastic biohazard bag and threw it out.
Amazing! According to the lawyer representing the mother, the mother apparently had a change of mind when she saw her baby:
"She came face to face with a human being," Pennekamp said. "And that changed everything."
Things tend to change when you see the humanity of another person. There is something about understanding that another person is made in the image of God, and possess intrinsic value, that changes the way you see them. This baby was not just an object to her mother. Perhaps before she was born, she was. But when she saw her she realized that was inside her was not an object, but a live human being.
This is just one of many reasons why our understanding of theology is so important. I just don’t quite understand why so many people are so dead set on believing that theology is irrelevant and that we don’t really need to know it. I’ll be the first to admit that I would not want to sit through an hour long sermon listening to someone drag on about the hypostatic union. But that does not mean theology is not necessary.
As tragic as this story is, I cannot help but think that it would have turned out different if the mother had a better understanding of humanity. This story illustrates clearly the connection between bad theology and our behavior. If you don’t take the time to learn about the importance of our humanity and what the Bible teaches there’s no telling what you could end up doing.
The Wedding Album Effect
Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time with nearly, newly, and old-as-the-hills-y wedded couples.
I’ve officiated weddings and proceeded over vow renewals, and I must say that, in general, I enjoy being a part of these celebrations of love and life. I have also been a counselor to a fair share of angry couples who demean each other like school children and expect me to “fix” the litany of issues that have them hanging by the loosest of threads. These situations are significantly less enjoyable.
In either case I’m reminded of the one image that every couple, whether experiencing the fresh excitement or the stale endurance of marriage, spends a small fortune to preserve: The Wedding Album. Within The Wedding Album’s pages we find photograph after photograph depicting the “happy” couple accompanied by family and friends in various states of loving expression. Each lovely event and beautiful expression is captured in time and made accessible through The Wedding Album.
But there’s a big problem with The Wedding Album. You see, the images it reveals – from the stunning white gown to the smiling mother-in-law – aren’t real. That’s not to say that the love represented in these pictures isn’t genuine, but the staged scenery, pristine clothing and overall goodwill undoubtedly tell a story that is less than authentic. Nobody I know walks around in a tuxedo… eating seven-layer cake… lighting a unity candle. These are not true-to-life situations. They’re framed in a leather bound album and placed on the coffee table because they’re meant to portray something of a fairy tale: a fantastic journey of soaring romance.
If the wedding album were full of realistic pictures we’d probably put that stack of 4×6 glossy’s in a zip-lock bag like the rest of our crummy vacation pics. If those pictures told the actual story of our wedding day they’d contain the images of Mom arguing with the wedding coordinator about the color of the flowers, or all the bridesmaids’ griping about how unflattering their dresses look. Or how about a shot of Dad slipping the groom a Valium to try and calm his nerves? How come none of those pictures made it into the Album?
Here’s the harsh reality: Marriage is not a fairy tale, and if you think that’s what it will be, you’ll hurt your marriage later. There is, quite possibly, nothing more corrosive to a marriage than lofty and unrealistic expectations. I’m not saying you should lower your standards and expect your marriage to be dreadful, but I am saying you should expect both the good and the bad if you really want to head into the marriage experience with a complete picture.
The reason that unrealistic “Wedding Album” expectations are so dangerous to a marriage is that they place a perfect focus on an imperfect couple. With The Wedding Album you can toss out the pictures that aren’t perfect, but with the marriage reality, you’re stuck with what you’ve got, and it usually ain’t perfect. It can be good… even great! But it can also be bad… even horrible.
So, if you’re going to have expectations (and we all do!), make sure they fall on a broad marriage spectrum with “This is the greatest thing ever!” at one end of the spectrum and “I’m either going to kill myself or him/her… One of us has to go!” at the other end of the spectrum. If you learn to operate somewhere within those two extremes, your chances of success in marriage will greatly improve.
About the Author
Steve Hayes is a friend of mine who is senior pastor of Grace Church in Cosricana, Texas. He has a bunch of kids (I lost count) and every single one of them is cute. He is an LSU football fanatic but I don’t hold that against him. Be looking for more from Steve in the future.
Playing By The Rules
I had a conversation with a friend the other day about the word pursuit. I was having issues with the word and trying to decide if it was the right word to use when describing the confusing and sometimes frustrating encounters between men and women.
If you remember I wrote an article a while back about the process of pursuit and I gave young men suggestions for engaging with young women. But, I got to thinking, what if you do everything right, you play by the rules and things still don’t work out? My initial thought was that we needed a new word, a word that would make more sense but maybe I’m just arguing semantics. Maybe what looks good on paper just doesn’t translate into real life.
My friend Cindy is interested in this guy that she works with. He is a great guy and is also interested in her. When you see them both together and watch them interact you think this is the perfect match. She has made a few advances, just to drop the hint. Yet, for some reason he has decided not to pursue her. Cindy and I have talked multiple times about the situation and she is a little confused. They have the same ministry goals; they are on the same path spiritually and have a lot of fun together. Why would he not pursue?
My friend Dan is interested in this girl he knows from church. She is a great girl from what he can tell but they haven’t had many opportunities to connect. She is friendly and warm toward him and he thinks that she might be interested. He has spent time cultivating his own relationship with the Lord and has observed her behavior and thinks they would make a great match. He decides to ask her out on a date, not once but twice. Each time he pursues she rejects him. Why would she not say yes?
What would you tell my friends Cindy and Dan? Most of us would say the obvious, “He / She is just not that in to you!” I mean that phrase is making major movie history right now as it documents a group of singles who are surprisingly also trying to figure out this whole dating thing and are a bit confused. However, knowing the maturity level of both Dan and Cindy I know that they understand he or she may not be that in to them but what they are really struggling with is playing by the rules.
Cindy is frustrated by her role in the game. For her to play by the rules it means that she has to wait and let the guy pursue her. Which in most cases means a long waiting period. She is frustrated that as a confident and capable woman she has to wait for someone else to determine when she can date. Dan is also frustrated by his role in the game. Everyone tells him to pursue yet each time he does he is met with rejection. He is beginning to think it would be a lot easier if the girls just pursued him.
But what about the people they are interested in? What are their roles in the game? Cindy is beginning to think her guy is insecure and weak. Dan is beginning to think his girl is a flirt stringing him along. But what if it’s not that at all? Cindy’s guy could be interested in her but unwilling to take the leadership role or maybe he is feeling a little emasculated by her continued advances. Dan’s girl is most likely interested him but not ready to assume the role of “helper”, the word submission sounds like a lot like suffocation to her and she is not ready to be “dominated” by a guy.
So, everyone ends up frustrated, confused and not dating. Most of us have heard stories like this and most of us have an opinion on the subject. The friend I mentioned earlier told me that we should basically throw out the rules, blow the whistle and say game on. But, as we continued discussing the subject and I voiced my concerns over throwing out the rules entirely we came to a middle ground.
Believe it or not there is a place where wisdom, culture and God intersect. This place gives us the freedom to live fully in a Godly way while using our judgment to honor God in our relationships. The real question goes deeper than just our roles as men and women in the dating arena. It boils down to sacrifice. Are you as a woman willing to sacrifice your desire to take control and allow men to be the leaders God is calling them to be? Are you as a man willing to sacrifice your pride to take the risk of asking a woman out on a date, better yet are you willing to allow her to be the woman God is calling her to be? Are we willing to sacrifice our desire for a relationship completely to God and let him guide us through our singleness?
These are difficult questions to answer especially when culture is telling us something different. In my honest opinion, there is nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date. It’s not a sin; it’s not going to cause her or anyone else any physical harm. But, in my honest opinion I do not think it is wise. I have heard too many stories of women taking this route and having it backfire on them. Does it happen every time? Of course, not, my friend who said throw out the rules is a man married to a woman who made the first move. But it did not initially work out, her forwardness scared him off and they didn’t date until he approached her much later.
Ephesians 5:24-26 reads, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” What can you as a single person do with this passage? You can cultivate within yourselves a new understanding of sacrifice. How does the church submit to Christ? In many ways but, few of them are through trust and respect and laying aside our own desires so that we might find out the desires of the King. It’s not about giving the “man” control it’s about saying, “I trust you, because I trust Christ.” How did Christ love the church? He took a risk out of love for her; he came down from Heaven to pursue her even when he knew she would reject him. It’s not about getting a woman to say “yes” it’s about sacrificing your pride in order to understand what Paul meant when he said Christ gave himself up for the church.
As single men and women sacrifice means laying aside your impatience, pride and fear so that you can trust God. The character and strength of both men and women is shown in their sacrifice. Do what you will with the rules but just because you play by the rules doesn’t mean you won’t strike out a few times.
About The Author
Camille Goodman Holland is passionate about helping young women understand the importance of theology. She has spent the last few years of her life devoted to this endeavor and have developed several in-depth theology-based studies for women. She blogs at Finely Twisted Linen. You can read her previous articles by going here.
