Articles
Broken Dreams
Life with God can be challenging when you are trying to figure out God’s will. So I asked Natasha to tell her story of the struggles she has had over the past year or so. I asked her to do this because I do not want people to think that because I write a few articles about how to figure out God’s will for our lives that I have somehow "figured it out" or that I am over simplifying life. I am not.
I know first hand how hard it is and Natasha’s story here for this reason. Maybe you have a similar story that you wouldn’t mind sharing in the comments below. I don’t want to keep you any longer. Here’s her story.
Having the rug pulled out from under you hurts more than you think. I’m 25 years old and am definitely not where I had planned to be. My junior year of high school is when I started toying with the dream of living overseas. I had gone on a few mission trips and felt more alive and more like me than ever before. I fervently pursued this new passion over the next few years of my life. I went to college to be a missionary. I traveled through Mexico, had an opportunity in Europe and lastly my heart was left in Sudan, Africa. I visited Sudan in my last year of college. When I stepped off the plane onto this foreign soil I had no clue what was going to happen. The drive from the airplane to the orphanage, where we were ministering at, was silent as I processed this new world whizzing by me. Once we arrived at the orphanage we were slowly introduced to many tiny faces, and my heart slowly fell in love. These kids didn’t know who their family was or where they were, but they were beyond joyous. After a week of visiting with these kids I wanted to go back.
Coming home I had to evaluate whether this longing was a “mission trip high,” or truly the Lord calling me into my dream of overseas missions. Within months I was going on interviews, filling out applications, and then I started raising my support. I don’t let myself embrace exciting situations in life because they will usually end up sour. This time I couldn’t help but be enthralled with living out my heartbeat. After graduating college I sent out my support letters, and within a months time I had raised two years of support. If that wasn’t a confirmation of being in God’s will, I don’t know what is. A few months later I was packed, saying farewell, and stepping on a plane. I finally understood the word “bittersweet.”
The next two months was similar to watching a horrible car crash in slow motion. You’re not quite sure how bad the accident is going to be, but you know it’s gonna hurt. Well, my plan of being in Sudan for two years was shortened to two months. (And not by choice, mind you.) I came home numb. I came home embarrassed. I came home.
I didn’t understand what God had done. I understood why I was home, but I didn’t understand why a God who knows how much I struggle with trust would allow this to happen. How the crap am I supposed to trust Him again? The one thing I desired was ripped away from me. He isn’t a loving God. He isn’t trustworthy. Sure, He’ll give me the desire of my heart, but only for a little while. There were a good two days I was done with Christianity. Yet, apparently, He is a loving God because I’m still following Him.
The next year and a half was rough. I wanted to numb my pain so I drank adult beverages, ate a lot of food, started running a lot, got into shallow relationships, dot, dot, dot. I was hurt. I finally stopped and let myself embrace the pain. I sought counseling and a friend helped disciple me. Both of these women told me time after time, “It’s ok to cry.” Emotions are valid. Our society teaches us they aren’t, but emotions are who we are. If we deny our emotions, we deny ourselves. When we deny ourselves we’re keeping God out. So, I cried. I spent many days lying on the floor in tears. I realized I was in mourning. My dream had died.
I confessed many times that I was tired of crying, but I didn’t know how to stop. I was scared I would never be able to move on. Nine months later I really started to feel like I could start standing on my own two feet again. I wrestled with God. I told him how angry I was with Him. I was honest about not wanting to trust Him. I embraced my doubts in religion. We truly serve a patient and loving God.
My foundation of faith was hit with a sledgehammer. God wanted me to build a new foundation…one day at a time; one brick at a time. I went to India on a mission trip. I lead a group of middle school students on a mission trip. I took political stances. These were major bricks in my foundation. I’ve been trying to figure out what the next step in my life is. I’ve been searching for what I’m truly passionate about. I’ve realized my heartbeat is to be overseas and to be in relationships with the hurting. Life is a process that can sometimes be beautiful and sometimes repulsive.
God took me and smashed every part of me, and has created a new person. I may have the same heartbeat, but it’s a different person pursing. The pain and doubts I felt, and still deal with, have made me more personable. Christianity isn’t easy. It’s hard. Whoever coined following Christ is easy, must not have been a true follower. It’s difficult but together as a family we can fight this exquisite fight.
Natasha
Do you have a story of difficulty about trying to figure out God’s will? Have you taken risks in life and things not turn out the way you planned? Do you feel like you have any shattered dreams? Share it in the comments below.
The Real Question About God’s Will
This is part 1 of the Broken Compass article series about the will of God.
I don’t know about you but one of the most challenging aspects of life is trying to determine God’s will for our lives. A lot of people start really putting a lot of emphasis upon this at the beginning of a new year. Why? Because there is a newness in that time of year that makes people feel the importance of starting off on the right foot and starting off on the right foot involves doing what God has purposed you to do.
In case you have not realized it, God has a purpose for every single one of us and it has been his design from the very start that we live out that purpose in our lives. But figuring out that purpose can be one of the most frustrating experiences a person can undergo. There is hope because God has actually made it a little bit easier than many think to discover his will for our lives. You see, the problem with a lot of us is that we are looking at this discovery process from the wrong angle; one that is focused more on man than on God.
Our approach to finding God’s will for our lives revolves around finding his will for me. Instead, God wants us to take a step back and figure out what God’s purpose is for him. In other words, it is important that before we know what specific role God has for us in this life that we figure out what God intends for this world and get involved.
Our Most Important Task
Our most important task as Christians is the worship of God. Missions is probably second to that. Why? Because God’s intent is for the entire created order to worship him as preeminent. Missions exists to make this reality. In other words, missions exists because worship doesn’t.
Missions is at the heart of what God is doing in Scripture because his desire is that the world worship him (Isaiah 42:8, 12). This is why he created Israel (Exodus 6:3-7). He wanted a unique group of people who would make the leading others to worship him the preeminent task of their lives.
It seems to me that the establishment of the Abrahamic covenenant (Genesis 12:1-3) is the climax of the book of Genesis. The creation of man and everything up through chapter 11 all seem to point to this critical moment when God makes a covenant with Abraham. This is why Genesis 2 cannot just be about a marriage. If it is true that everything God does has mission in mind, then the purpose behind Adam needing a helper (Genesis 2:18) had more to do with him needing someone to help him fulfill mission God gave him than about him needing a woman to complete him (Genesis 2:15). In other words, in order for God to create a nation, the plan needed to include humans with the capacity to procreate and fill the earth with people from which the nation of Israel would come (Genesis 1:28).
The plan from the beginning included a nation, and eventually a world full of people who would worship God. Worship is ultimate and is the goal of missions. Jesus reiterates this in Matthew 28:19-20 (the Great Commission) when he is spending his last moments with his disciples. I like to think of this as some of his most important words to them because this is the last time he will be with them for an extended period of time. He tells them to go into the world and make disciples, and teach them everything he taught them.
Think for a moment what you would say if you were spending your last moments with someone you really cared about. You probably would not waste time with meaningless words. You would probably choose what you wanted to tell them carefully. I think this is what is happening here in Matthew 28. It’s probable that in Jesus’s mind these are words he most wants them to cherish and take seriously.
The fulfillment of the Great Commission is probably the most important task a Christian is to be engaged in outside of worship even though fulfilling the Great Commission in itself is an act of worship. This is something that every Christian is to do. God has told us fundamentally that his will for our lives is that we lead others to worship him. So a Christian should never be confused about what his life should be about to the extent that he/she does not do anything.
The Real Question
So now that we know we are all to fulfill the Great Commission, the real question becomes, what specific role are we to play. This is where a lot of the people are frustrated because they want that sense of fulfillment in their lives, but they just don’t know what they are supposed to do. Or perhaps they have taken the risk only to have everything fall apart on them.
Let me suggest the following. I think that in many instances, God is not going to show you your individual involvement in the Great Commission until you first find out what God is doing in the world and get involved.
Do you like working with kids but not quite sure if that should be with 8 year olds at church or in an orphanage? Then get started working with kids anywhere and the specifics will eventually become clear. Do you have a heart for unreached people groups? Go on a mission trip to any unreached people group and the specifics will become clear. Do you feel like God has put you on the shelf and is not using you anymore? Is it hard for you to trust him in this area? I would like to encourage you to get back out there and get involved.
In the next article in this series, I will show you an example from scripture that explains exactly what I am talking about. Stay tuned!
Is Theology Really All That Important?
To many theology should only be limited to the seminary. It’s for pastors only. This thinking has impacted Christianity in significant ways. In some ways it’s understandable that people will think this way. When churches deemphasize theology and emphasize pop psychology, people tend to forget the importance of understanding who God is. This quote from The Culturally Savvy Christian, by Dick Staub concerns me,
There is ample evidence that in attempting to influence culture, Christians have jettisoned basic, historic Christian beliefs. Not only does Christianity-Lite fail to advance Christian beliefs and practices, but it has forgotten what they are! How else can you describe a situation in which most church-going adults reject that accuracy of the Bible, claim Jesus sinned, believe that good works will persuade God to forgive sins, and describe their commitment to Christianity as moderate or even less firm? Our numbers indicate strength, but our shallowness betrays our weakness. We are a mirror image of the moralistic therapeutic deistic culture.
Vibrant faith involves understanding Scripture, employing reason, benefiting from the lessons of tradition, and engaging in a profound personal experience of God.
A few years ago I had a conversation with a college student who told me that he was tired of going to church because all he was hearing during sermons was theology. There was not a lot of practical teaching to go along with it. In another instance a female student that was in the college ministry I was leading said that she did not feel theology really mattered all that much and that all we needed to know as Christians was that Jesus loved us. In both cases, these students believed theology was irrelevant for our times. What’s interesting about these two people was that they both went through some painful experiences where the only answer to their questions involved theology.
They’re not alone. There was another group of people who felt theology was irrelevant. Paul addressed them in Romans 1. God made truth about his character evident to them but they ignored it (Romans 1:16). The NASB version says they suppressed the truth. Even though they knew about God intellectually, they did not know him. Whenever the knowledge of God is suppressed, pride sets in and idolatry rules the day (Romans 1:23). When these men and women suppressed the truth they declined morally and engaged in all sorts of act from greed to homosexuality (Romans 1:24-28). This is the inevitable state of a culture who ignores God. In Staub’s words,
Barna’s research…also indicates troubling trends in behavior among the “born-again population,” including a higher divorce rate than the general population and patterns of consumerism matching the general population. Evangelicals condemn abortion and sexual immorality but are relatively silent about the accumulation of wealth and concerns for the poor.
He later says,
Within evangelicalism, many thoughtful people are troubled about the price we have paid for our “success.” Some believe that in our quest for numeric growth, we have grown big but are shallow, producing an American Christianity three thousand miles wide but two inches deep.
Is theology really all that important? Yes. Theology is the most practical and relational thing about us and it always shows itself in how we relate to one another. What you and I know about God determines EVERY dimension of our lives.
How To Be Moved
I have invited Jonathan back. His last article is one of the most popular articles on this site. His writing style seems to click with a few of you. So here goes and be sure to leave a comment on this one. Thanks!
For those of you who know me, you probably have heard that I have made a decision to move to a small town outside of Dallas to work at a men’s discipleship ministry called Kingdom Authority Ministries (K.A.M.).
You probably know my heart for missions and my heart for discipling men as well. What you probably don’t know is the thought process that went into this decision to uproot myself and move away from most everyone I know (how could you, you’re not in my head…that would be scary!).
Allow me to be more specific with what I’ll be involved with. I will be living in a facility called the “Bunkhouse” in the middle of nowhere, Texas. There are a few houses around, but all in all, it’s pretty much as far away from city-living you can get. There are horses and cattle that I will be helping care for as well as tending a garden. I hope you are getting the picture, because this is about as country as it gets.
In this house, we will be taking in men who have had “bad” backgrounds. What I mean, is that we are looking for any guys who are on the down and outs and want a life change. We are looking for the men who have been in and out of substance abuse, prison, marriages, or sin. This is free of charge to all who would come and be discipled.
The criteria we have are this:
~They have to contact us…not relatives, not friends, only themselves.
~They have to submit themselves to biblical teaching, authority, and training.
~They have to stay at least 6 months, but preferably longer if they so choose.
~They will be subject to random drug-testing and accountability.
My role is to live life with these guys. My room will share a wall with theirs. I will be eating with them, talking with them, listening to them; I am there to challenge, teach, rebuke, encourage, and above all else, continually point them to Christ and His Word.
Now some of you will wonder why I am doing this. Why would a single man, soon-to-be 29 years of age, and still a college student be willing or even wanting to move into a house in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of ‘bad apples’? It wasn’t a choice I made quickly or without prayer.
After returning from a short-term trip to Central Asia this summer, I received a call from a man who I had worked for a few times down in Midlothian, Texas. His name is Hugh Huber, and his life is an incredible story of God’s grace. I would love to spend all this time and space devoted to his story, but he is not the focus of this article.
Hugh was calling to see if I would be the guy to live with and help disciple these guys that would soon be coming to K.A.M. Even though this ministry does exactly what I hope and dream to one day do all across the world (disciple men to be leaders and disciple-makers), I really wanted to know if this was exactly what God would have me do. I knew this kind of thing doesn’t come around often, but on the flip side, I also realized that this would be one of the most difficult things I have ever done.
When Hugh approached me about this opportunity, I told him I would pray about it and that I would discuss it with my mentors and accountability group. After a few weeks, the more I thought about it, the more excited I became. I kept thinking, “How incredible would it be to challenge and live with men so they might one day become great leaders for Christ?” Even with the sacrifices I would have to make, I decided this was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. I decided to take another step in the process, and I asked my wise counsel to come with me to the Bunk House to check it out and meet Hugh. We all gathered on a Saturday morning and had breakfast together. During this time, we were able to chat and talk about Hugh’s heart and my heart and to weigh the pros and cons of going through with this.
After talking and praying, I decided that it would be just downright foolish to pass this up. I mean, here was an awesome opportunity to get involved and see the Lord work through me. Sure I would have a long commute to school. Sure I am probably not going to be able to pursue a relationship with a woman anytime soon. But this is exactly where my heart lies and it is a harder challenge than anything I had done before. I told Hugh I would do it right then and there, and he quickly ran over and gave me a giant, bear hug.
Now I will be living with guys from different and difficult pasts, and this might be one of the most perplexing and challenging parts of this experience. I will be living in unfamiliar territory, but I’m also excited to explore new areas. I will be away from many people that I have shared life with and grown close to over the last 3 to 4 years, but I also realize that I will have an eternity to celebrate with them. Now is the time for God to use me to change and impact the lives of others.
A very wise man once said, “If you want to witness a miracle, you have to become a participant.” God is constantly preparing the willing and sending out His own to do His bidding and be apart of what He is accomplishing. If we come to realize that we are most satisfied doing the work God has for us to do then no cost or price or sacrifice is too great to overcome.
Do we, as Jesus’ body, really believe that? Are the things that God has for us to do burdensome or rather the most amazing things in the world? Can I truly be fulfilled doing His will as opposed to my own? If we believe He is the creator, then He has to be the One who knows how I can truly be fulfilled.
My hope and prayer is that more of my brothers and sisters in Christ and realize that God is doing amazing things all around us…but if we are not in fellowship with Him, we will not know His will or that we could possibly be fulfilled by Him and the work He has for us. I challenge you, the reader, to surrender. I challenge you to seek a mature believer to walk through life with you and train you in the spiritual ways of Christ. I challenge you to stop squandering your life on vain and trifle purposes and to seek the One who can reveal the adventure of pursuing Christ.
Do you think it is true that we are most satisfied in life when we are doing the work God has for us? Speak out in the comment section below. Thanks.
A Pursuit in a Godly Direction
This week I have another guest writer for you. Her name is Camille Holland. She is recently married, and when she is not spending time with her new hubby (what up Matt!) she is experiencing the joy of disciping young college women. I asked Camille to come and talk to the guys I disciple last week and give her thoughts on what she thought was the most appropriate way for them to pursue a godly romantic relationship. The following article is a brief summary of that conversation. Thank you, Camille.
How do you talk to a group of college guys about dating relationships when you’re a post-graduate married woman? Well, it ain’t easy. I’d only been married for about eight months so I still knew what it tasted like to be single. I clearly remember the feelings of impatience and loneliness that I felt for so many years as I watched friend after friend get married. Now that I am married I still sympathize deeply with the heart of the single person. However, understanding the heart of a single man is much different from that of a single woman.
Single men today experience extreme pressure from the media and society to view relationships as either things to be conquered and counted or as an area where women do all the work. Even in Christian circles this mindset exists leading in part to the dysfunctionality of Christian relationships today. With that in mind, the ability for Christian college men to enter into Godly relationships must come from a Scriptural outlook and not society.
Matthew 22:37-39 is a good basis for our interactions in relationships. If we call ourselves Christians then we should admittedly affirm the first statement. As believers, man or woman, we should make our first goal in life to know and love God. Every behavior and thought flows from our belief and love for God. It is virtually impossible to really love our neighbor if we do not first love God. Likewise, it is virtually impossible for a Christian guy to enter into a godly relationship with a Christian girl without first knowing and loving God. Although it does happen, it will never be the relationship that God intended it to be unless he puts God first. But, how does he get to this point? How can he enter into a godly relationship by first loving God and then loving his neighbor?
1:Cultivate Your Relationship With God
The first step is to cultivate your relationship with God. This is done by intentionally setting aside time to get into God’s Word and spend time in prayer. Again, if we don’t know who God is then we can’t really love him and we can’t really love our neighbors. For men, pay special attention to the men of the Bible and how God used them to be leaders in relationships. For example, Joseph was a great fiancée and husband to Mary, the mother of Jesus. He protected her, stood by her side and chose to be an active part of her life.
2:Enter into a Discipleship Relationship
The second step is to enter into a discipleship relationship with another person or small group. For men and women discipleship is a key component in encouraging our spiritual growth and developing our relationships. A mentor or small group can see from the outside what your life looks like and how you behave in relationships. They can challenge you to grow in ways that might not be obvious to you. It is particularly important that the girl you wish to enter into a relationship with is also involved in a discipleship relationship with another person or small group.
3:Identify the Woman Through Observation
The third step is to identify the kind of woman that you would like to date. This can be done through a process called, observation. This process is not meant to mimic stalking but to quietly notice the woman’s heart and how she behaves around others. (Note: This step will be in direct contrast to the way society describes the start of relationships. Society will tell the man to jump right in and then decide how you feel about her the next morning.) The observation phase should begin as soon as you start thinking, “This is a cool girl, and I’d like to get to know her better.” It is meant to give you time to really decide if this is the girl you want to pursue. You do not need to say anything to this girl or make your intentions known. Just be a friend to her and observe. Important questions to ask during the observation phase are: does she love God and does she love others? Your answer to these questions will help you determine if she is the sort of girl you should pursue.
4:Pursue Her In A Godly Way
The fourth step is to pursue her in a Godly way. Pursuit is the initial step that is taken to get to know the girl better. It begins the moment you ask her out on a date. Once you’ve decided that the girl meets the above criteria then you can and should begin the pursuit phase. The ball is in your court so act responsibly. If you are not sure if you want to pursue her, DON’T. If you still have questions, WAIT. Relationships are tricky territory but, the way that you pursue gives her a clue into who you are and your character. Again, check out the Bible for some examples of how men pursued women. For example, Jacob pursued Leah for 7 years before he married her. I know that times are different but the same principles still apply.
The worst thing you can do to a girl is lead her on. Communicate to her how you feel and let her know the moment you start thinking that this is not going to work. If she has a discipleship relationship or small group around her then she will be fine. They will handle any negative feelings. If you are concerned about her well-being talk to her friends but leave her alone. Once you have stated that you are not interested back it up with action and give her some time to heal before attempting to restore the friendship.
The Methods May Change But…
Maybe you have heard the following quote: “The methods may change but the message is the same.” Typically it comes up when someone questions the methods a church uses to communicate the message of the gospel. Perhaps a church is using an unusual tactics of getting people in the door so they change the way they communicate their sermon from a preacher standing behind a podium to a more talk show format like on Oprah with every “sermon” now being presented as interviews with random people.
When this church is questioned about their tactics, they respond, “Well, there is nothing wrong with what we are doing. Our method is different from traditional preaching but the message is still the same.” Inherent in this thinking is the idea that the method of communication and the message are not connected in any way. In other words, there is no connection between the method one uses and the message that is conveyed. But the reality is that whenever the method changes, the message automatically changes as well.
Marshall McLuhan has been credited with being responsible for introducing us to the social impacts of technology on humans. He coined the phrase, “The medium is the message,” because he believed that every medium has its own message. The quote at the beginning of this article assumes that technology is neutral. But McLuhan believed that technology was powerful enough to shape our thoughts and values, regardless of the content. We generally think that as long as we are careful about the content, the medium itself is not really the issue. For instance, I used to think that television was a neutral medium. I did not think there was anything wrong with television at all, that I could watch whatever I wanted as long as I did not watch anything R-rated. I assumed that as long as I was watching “quality” television, TV was good, and if it watched R-rated stuff, TV was bad. I was focused more on the content (R-rated shows) than I was on the medium (television) itself. According to McLuhan, “The content of a medium is like the juicy piece of meat carried by the burglar to distract the watchdog of the mind.” The content of the medium distracted me from the real message it was sending.
Shane Hipps who wrote, “The Hidden Power of Electronic Culture” made the following comment about TV, “We are oblivious to the ways the medium, regardless of its content, reduces our capacity for abstract thought, makes us prefer intuition and experience over logic and reasoning, and revives tribal experiences in an individualistic culture.” This statement reveals the truth that I believe every medium has an embedded message that presents itself as truth, but is really a lie. One of the lies of television that Shane’s comment exposes is that experience is better than reasoning and logic. But that’s not always true.
Marva Dawn, who wrote “Unfettered Hope”, calls these lies, bluffs. She says, “Why is it that so many of us have bought into this technological revolution? We have to recognize the big “bluff” of the encompassing technological milieu—that we are misled by its bold (and often false) promises, which disguise the negative aspects of whatever is being endorsed.” She continues, “Do we see how the advertising world bluffs us into thinking that more technology or more implementation of the wired world’s possibilities is the only solution to world problems in economics and politics; to such church problems as the decline in worship attendance, and the reduction of membership numbers, or the lack of interest in “church”; and to personal or family problems?”
Technology is very skilled at hiding its lies. Lies that have had negative impact on the way we live out our faith. There are three major concepts that technology has bluffed is into thinking are true: (1) faster is always better, (2)faster will save time, (3) more stuff will solve my problems, and (4) I need the latest and greatest to keep from being outdated. When these ideas are deeply engrained in our minds it becomes difficult to remain content (Philippians 4:11; 1 Corinthians 11:1).
Christians are to be content no matter what the circumstances. But the problem is that at every turn the advertising world bluff us into thinking that what we have is not enough, too slow, outdated, and is not working. And every time we make a purchase or consume technology while subconsciously believing these lies, we are reinforcing them in our psyche. Perhaps this may explain why the same characteristics we use to measure the value of our entertainment, we use to measure the content of our religious experiences (i.e. sermons, congregational singing). Or maybe this is why so many of us, instead of being patient with the sanctification process, we get frustrated, give up and give in to our sins.
No matter how you slice it, the technological paradigm has had a really negative effect on Christianity. But let me be clear. It is not technology in itself but the way the entire paradigm impacts our thinking. Our use of technology should be accompanied with better questions. My friend John Dyer who is one of the smartest guys I know (and who I find myself regularly intimidated around) offers “A Model for Theological Reflection on Technology.” He has provided a great example of how to apply the model as well.
There are times where there is nothing we can do about advances in technology. For instance it would not be possible or even desireable to return to the horse and buggy. But there are situations where we can make choices that go against the rules of the technological paradigm instead of confirming them. And when we are presented with these opportunities, perhaps we should take them. For instance, we can shop at a local baker instead of a major chain store. There are times when choosing the local baker means he/she may not have the items we want, where the chain store always does. So what we do is we typically go to the chain store because it provides the quick fix to our problems. And this is precisely why the technological paradigm has been a dangerous influence in our faith.