About That Guy You Want To Date…

December 7, 2008 in Blog View Comments

This is particularly directed at single women. One of the things I teach my guys about manhood is the importance of knowing the purpose God has for their lives. By that I generally mean the specific purpose that he has for an individual that explains how he is supposed to live out The Great Commission. My pastor echoed this same thing although his sermon was not specifically about this topic. The sermon was particularly directed at wives, but he had something to say to single women that I think is really important.
 

 I have included the audio snippet below. For those of you who are not familiar with black slang, a “boo” is someone that you are romantically involved with such as a girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife.

 I believe that a single man should have a purpose before he begins the dating process. This is critical, because I do not think that there is anything more risky in romantic relationships than to enter into one with a guy who has no clue what he is supposed to do with his life. So where do I get this idea, from Genesis 2. God gave Adam a purpose in putting him in the garden to cultivate it (Gen 2:15). Adam does not meet Eve until Gen. 2:23. The point is, Adam had a purpose before he met the woman. Missions should come before marriage. But I suspect some will say, “I did not know what I was going to do before I met my girlfriend/boyfriend and we discovered it together!” In other words, it works for them so why bother with such menial points in the Bible? But that misses the point. I understand that people don’t follow what I am suggesting and things turn out just fine. Again, that’s not the point. It’s not about what works but about following the design that God laid out. And I really believe that we save ourselves a lot of unnecessary headaches down the road if we make missions a greater priority than finding a wife/husband.

I strongly suggest that if the guy you’re interested in is not participating in the Great Commission, leave him alone. It is not your responsibility to help him figure that out.

Bottom line is that the only requirement the Bible has for Christians who marry is that they do not marry someone who is not a Christian (2 Cor. 6:14). Some are so desperate to be in a relationship they don’t care if they’re a Christian or not they just want them to be male. So why make such a hubbub about a man having a purpose before he finds the woman? Well, because its wise. Ladies, as someone who has discipled many young men between 18 and 24, I strongly suggest that if the guy you’re interested in is not participating in the Great Commission, leave him alone. It is not your responsibility to help him figure that out. If you date him, you will only distract him. Therefore the best thing you can do for him is to love him enough to let him go.

So ladies, “No purpose, no boo.”